Out of the frying pan-
by Uzumaki D Narut0
Summary: "There are some people in the Marines who really, really want to help people. I know a place where you-" My eyes drifted to the pre-teens and the pile of sleeping children, faces covering in soot, small cuts and bruises "-and your kids can stay. For free. And be safe." I grinned, the smile stretching my face. "Have you ever heard of 'Dawn Island?"
1. Of dancing flames and buster calls

Hi,

I plan to make this a relatively long fic.

I usually update weekly or occasionally monthly with a 12k mammoth of an update. Haven't done one of the latter for quite a few fics though. Expect weekly.

Enjoy!

* * *

Garp watched the flames dance in the wind with gritted teeth and white-hot anger born from a strong moral compass.

"This isn't right" I mutter under my breath, brows furrowed.

A few, weak, innocent civilians surviving wouldn't do any harm.

"Sir?" Protests a nearby marine recruit nearby "We have orders-"

I turn around, my face shadowed.

"And?" I grin "I am the one breaking the rules, not you. Get a boat."

I don't stick around for the reply, my legs flexing as I kick off the floor a dozen times in rapid succession, my form flickering.

The wind howls in my ears.

I narrow my eyes.

The sea tossed and turned, frothy where the waves break and lit blood red from the flames hungrily devouring twenty thousand innocent people.

Sometimes, somewhere, in a place I'll never admit to having, I have to agree with my wayward son's decision.

The marines are corrupted, yes. But there will come a day, a day when the bad apples are tossed out and the word government will watch over the people of this world without any ulterior motives.

And I'm going to be there for that day. To help people.

I land on worn, blood stained deck of an obviously old fishing boat, a few feet across and about three meters in length.

With a particularly strong blast of air, my hat blew off my head, revealing brown hair falling into grey at the edges.

A small pile of children, preteens, five at the youngest, eight at the oldest, lie on the floor, bruised and battered in ways that little children simply shouldn't.

Despite the battle going on, my heart melts a little.

Just like little Ace and Luffy, eh?

A wheelchair squeaks as the owner glares at me, raising a simple pistol.

His hands don't shake.

I feel the bullet as his fingers clamp down on the trigger.

I tilt my head as a paper-thin slice decorates my left cheek, stinging briefly before I block it out with practiced ease.

I chuckle as my mouth stretches into a 'D' smile, hand up in the air in the universal sign for surrender.

"Calm down! I'm here to help you!"

A bead of blood shattered against the damp, wooden floor like a teardrop-shaped ruby.

Behind my back, one of the children, the conscious ones, who would have been relatively stealthy if I didn't have my haki, ran towards me in an attempt to tackle me to the ground.

I jumped.

He crashed into the side of the boat, gaining a magnificent goosebump.

The one who just tried to kill me jumped up, his jet-black hair briefly covering his weird orange goggles before me pushed them up, glaring.

"Bwahahaha- Calm down, calm down, I became a marine to help people, not hurt people."

Hmmm

"Unless they're pirates. Then I just wallop them. But it serves 'em right, no?"

For a few long seconds, they just stare at me blankly, unable to comprehend my awesomeness.

Then one of the kids spoke up, his voice weak and crackly, but still filled with the sharp edge of desperation.

"Do you know about a 'Namikaze Minato'? He's about six and a half feet and has spiky blond hair."

I frown.

An image of a kill order with a list of names fills my mind.

For a split second I pause.

But-

I can't blame a child for an adults faults

-my frown turned to an outright scowl as the child's face, rounded with youth, white hair spiked childishly into the fake sunset, blends to an equally round face, dotted with freckles and greasy black hair in my mind's eye.

He turned away as the only other adult raised a brow.

I shook my head.

One of the kids, the goggled one, spoke up, his voice tinny and broken.

"Do you know about a 'Nohara Rin?' She about this " He raised a hand to his head "tall, got purple marks on her cheeks, brown hair, she's really nice."

He scratched his right ear with his left hand, elbow hiding all but his eyes.

He waited.

They waited.

I said nothing.

Something in his eyes changed.

Laughing a fake laugh and grinning a fake grin, he tried to smile at me "You're joking, right? Right? Right?."

Tears ran down his face, and for a split second his eyes flashed red. As in, bright, scarlet red.

"C'mon man, this ain't funny. You're joking, right?."

The white-haired kid tried to lay a hand on his shoulder-

-said hand was quickly slapped off.

"Right? Right?."

And so, I looked him dead in the eye, mustering my best possible way to put my no forward.

"You're one of the famous 'marines', right? Then why can't you do something? Why can't you stop hurting people? Wh-."

Another child, sharing the same nose and black hair slapped a hand over his mouth as the boat's inhabitants flinched away from me, edging towards the crippled man.

"I'm so, so very sorry for my charge's actions" The only other adult rushed and stumbled through words.

"If there's anything I can do to help you, or reimburse you-"

Something about those words, that expectation, stung like a cannon to the face.

I cut him off with hand in the air and closed eyes.

More gravely than I'd ever usually allow it, my voice cut through his stuttered apologies.

"There are some people in the Marines who really, really want to help people. I know a place where you" My eyes drifted to the pre-teens and the pile of sleeping children, faces covering in soot, small cuts and bruises "and your kids can stay. For free. And be safe."

I grinned, the smile stretching my face.

"Have you ever heard of 'Dawn Island'?"

That was six months ago.

* * *

My blond locks wave softly in the breeze as my pipe slams into bear-sized boar, it's rear legs giving way as it falls, inertia carrying it over to Ace with a crack and the sound of a small tree being flattened.

The wind whistled in my ears as I grin madly and hollered "Fire in the hole!", Ace's expression matching as threw a stone at the enraged creature as it righted itself.

With a stomach-churning growl as it pounces forward, way too fast for something so massive, it's tusk a meter from Ace-

A foot-

An inch-

-and with a mighty bathomp, the ground seems to implode in a flurry of snapped sticks and swirling leaves spiraling higher and higher as our trap catches the infernal creature once and for all.

Yeah!

Ace lets out one of his rare true smiles "That was totally worth this" My eyes narrow.

Nothing bad happened, so 'totally worth' what-

My eyes widen as I spot the blood on Ace's newly ripped shirt.

"Ace" tearing my expensive shirt's sleeve clean off, I hurriedly picked away at the seams holding back ten folds of well-threaded, quality linen as I quickly formed a length of bandage, carefully checking for anything embedded in the site of injury -Nothing, thank god- before wrapping it around his chest tightly.

Sitting back, I wipe my sweaty forehead with the back of my hand.

I frown.

"That's your left pectoral, Ace. Avoid pressing things together with your hands, or pushing-"

"-like this?"

"AceYouIdiotStopDoingPushUpsIt'llBecomeWorse."

Despite the red spreading across the previously clean, pure white cloth, Ace grinned slyly as I fussed over him, babying him like the Colossal Moron he is.

He deserves the capital letters. He really does.

"You" I pointed my finger at him, scowling "Are a dick."

Ace mock-bows "I'm so very sorry, noble-sama. Would you like champagne or a fine cup of tea with your evening meal?"

I couldn't stop the instinctive shock and the heknowsheknowsheknows

A chill ran through my spine as Ace interpreted my sputtering for something it really isn't.

"I'm sorry" He muttered eyes downcast, clearly finding it hard to apologise "I forgot you hated nobles."

I faked a grin.

"Meh. It's nothing." My eyes darted suspiciously as I rushed behind him, hand striking out-" Tag. You're it."

I rushed through the trees, snickering.

"Oi, I'm supposed to be injured here!."

"You hurt your pecs, not your legs, you lazy ass!"

* * *

Uchiha Obito was very used to running. He'd done it before, and he'll do it again.

But this? This?

My feet lashed out at the wooden planks as my hands scrabbled for holds, desperately trying to scale the ship was I on.

Next to my head, the wood splintered, a heavy metallic cannon ball embedding itself in the ship's side like a whaler's harpoon hitting a whale with a whoompth, wood chips sent flying, bouncing off my orange-tinted goggles.

Hey. I just so happen to like goggles.

My head pounded with the frantic beats of my heart.

"Kakashi!" I screamed, my throat already feeling slightly raw "Help me, I'm gonna die."

That Fucking Traitor scoffed and turned around.

"Gai-" I paused.

Actually, that'll almost be as bad as Garp.

Behind me that demonic, horrible, thing that tried to call itself a human's eye twinkled, cackling as it raised a callused hand, cannonball already loaded.

"I'm gonna make you a wonderful marine."

"KAKASHI! GAI! HELP!"

Behind me, Gai in his green-jumpsuit-caterpillar-abomination lept out from hiding, his gargantuan eyebrows wiggling as he launched into a flying kick-

"WITH THE POWER OF YOUTH!"

Eyes narrowing, I tracked the trajectories, and, and-

-"GaiGarpnonono-" I was cut of with an oomph as my eyes bulged comically, gut hit in with both The Cannonball, and The Gai.

My torso throbbed as I curled into a ball.

"You" I raised a shaky finger at Garp "Are horrible."

I turned to Gai.

"You" I scowled the best I could "are an absolute-"

…

Wait a second-

A heavy silence filled the deck, the marines milling around pausing for a second while the rest of us just stared.

Standing up, fists raised boxing-style with a cannonball in his right hand, Garp was asleep.

I whispered to Gai as quietly as I could "How does me do that?"

"I don't know."

He snored, a downright disgusting bubble of snot forming from his nostril.

One of the marines sighed at our gobsmacked faces, rolling her eyes.

"The novelty wears off. Eventually. Move along."

But…

"I can't" I moaned pitifully "Help."

Gai turned to me, a smile that was probably sincere, but nonetheless creepy as fuck covering his face as he gave me a thumbs up-

"OBITO, WITH THE POWER OF YOUTH, I SWEAR-"

"HELP ME" I screamed, eyes looking around franticly "HELP. ME."

Behind a crate, a group of tiny kids tried to conceal their snickers.

To an extent, Garp might seem OOC. This imainly because of the situation he's in. Like Luffy, he's a complete dork, but as a vice-admiral, in the wake of a genocide, he'll act a little more somber. I feel as if he's too two-dimensional if he stays goofy and stuff in this sort of situation.

To be honest, I'm going to add in the odd somber, borderline-angsty bit, but please don't worry about me getting carried away with the angst, I find funny-come-fluffy scenes really easy and organic, and I'll therefore pump this full of 'em.

Stuff like this

-Is thoughts. As in direct thoughts. All italics, no full-stop/period. It's intentional, please don't worry.

If anyone notices the aspect's I'm borrowing from the world of Naruto, it's mainly because I want something akin to a crossover, without actually, you know, being a crossover.

To those of you who are Op-only fans, they'll just seem like really thought out, fleshed, balanced ocs. Well, when I flesh them. Which will happen shortly.

Please don't report this guys/gals. I mean, fanfiction is a legal grey area to start off with, and I'm not going to make this even a little confusing for people who don't know about Naruto.

After all, that rule was implemented to prevent people from finding fics confusing.

If you have any ideas for this, feel free to let me know.

See ya later,

Jae Nae.


	2. A forced hiatus

Hi guys,

My parents have descended from protective to full-on apache attack helicopters.

I am, I heavily suspect due to the existence of the blue whale game, banned from all 'gadgets', till I am 18, and so am unable to afford any 'gadgets.

If I manage to overturn this ruling, I'll be back. If not, you'll have to wait up to half a decade for me to start typing again.

I'm sorry, but there's nothing I can do.


End file.
